Gaslighting, a term originating from the 1938 play Gas Light, in which a husband manipulates his wife into doubting her own reality, represents a deeply harmful form of psychological manipulation. In the workplace, this behavior can become particularly destructive when exhibited by a manager or leader. This article explores how leaders and managers may unwittingly or deliberately gaslight their teams, the profound impact it has on both individuals and organizational culture, and the legal consequences it may carry.
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend who shared a distressing experience with a leader in her organization. The leader repeatedly used the phrase, “I would think as a leader you would…” in a discussion. While a single use of this phrase might sting, hearing it multiple times in the same conversation can assume a context of bullying. My friend described how this repeated statement not only frustrated her but led her to question the very culture of her workplace. Phrases like this subtly transfer responsibility from the person setting expectations to the one expected to meet them, implying blame and casting doubt on the other person's competence. It’s a subtle yet deeply harmful, tactic that undermines trust and psychological safety.
Gaslighting erodes an individual’s self-esteem and confidence, leaving them questioning their abilities. Over time, this can lead to heightened stress, anxiety, and even depression—hallmarks of a psychologically unsafe work environment. There are many phrases that gaslighters may use to achieve these effects, including:
“Like I said…” – Implying the information was clear when it may not have been.
“I never agreed to that.”
“You’re overreacting”
“You misunderstood what I meant.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You’re not listening to me.”
“I’m not sure you’re seeing the bigger picture.”
“You’re disconnected.”
These statements, often delivered with condescension or frustration, are designed to invalidate the other person’s perspective and shift the narrative in favor of the gaslighter.
To be clear, not all gaslighters act with conscious intent. It’s possible that some are unaware of their behavior, often driven by their own insecurities or personality traits. People with narcissistic tendencies, Machiavellian behaviors, or deep-seated fears of failure may use gaslighting as a defense mechanism to reinforce their self-image. In other cases, the behavior could be learned from a toxic organizational culture or environmental influences.
Nonetheless, understanding the potential drivers of gaslighting behavior does not excuse it. Even when subconscious, gaslighting is always a deliberate act of manipulation that we should never tolerate. Left unchecked, it creates a toxic work environment that undermines morale, productivity, and trust while exposing organizations to serious reputational and legal risks.
Leaders must take responsibility for fostering a culture of accountability, clarity, and respect—where individuals feel psychologically safe to share their perspectives without fear of invalidation or manipulation. By doing so, they protect not only the well-being of their employees but also the integrity and success of their organizations.
One of the most complex challenges in identifying gaslighting in the workplace is its often subtle nature. Gaslighting behaviors, especially when carried out by managers or colleagues, may not immediately appear aggressive or hostile, making it difficult for victims to recognize and substantiate the manipulation. A common tactic of gaslighters is favoring phone communication over written forms, as phone conversations leave little tangible evidence, complicating efforts to document and address the behavior. This lack of proof can be especially frustrating when victims are expected to present "evidence" or "documentation" before any action is taken. Additionally, gaslighters often deflect responsibility by blaming misunderstandings or misinterpretations on the victims' misunderstanding of it, further muddying the waters and deepening the harm.
Workplaces where gaslighting is prevalent become toxic environments, which inevitably leads to diminished employee morale, disengagement, and increased turnover—particularly when linked to one or more specific individuals. Over time, this behavior erodes trust, impacts organizational culture, and damages the company's reputation within the industry. Beyond these operational impacts, persistent gaslighting can expose organizations to legal repercussions under workplace harassment laws.
Fostering a culture of transparency and open communication is crucial to mitigating these risks. Employees must feel safe raising concerns without fear of retaliation. Clear policies, regular training programs, and a strong emphasis on recognizing and addressing gaslighting behaviors are fundamental steps in ensuring a healthy workplace. These proactive measures not only fulfill a company’s legal and ethical responsibilities, but also contribute to a supportive and productive work environment.
In conclusion, gaslighting by managers or colleagues poses a serious threat to the health and sustainability of any workplace. This subtle yet damaging form of manipulation has far-reaching consequences—not just for the mental and emotional well-being of the individuals affected, but also for the organization as a whole. Addressing and preventing gaslighting is not only a sound business strategy but also a critical investment in long-term success. Organizations must prioritize educating their workforce, implementing preventive measures, and taking swift action to address gaslighting to build a respectful, inclusive, and thriving workplace culture.
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