What Job (or Boss) Taught You the Most?
- Dr. Marcy Adams
- Mar 30
- 4 min read
One of my favorite interview questions: In every job, with every boss, we either learn how we want to be or how we don't want to be. Tell me about what each one is for you.
When you reflect on your career, one question stands out: What job taught you the most? Was it the one where you thrived under an inspiring leader who believed in you, or was it the job that tested every ounce of your patience and self-worth because of a difficult boss?
The truth is, every leader leaves a mark on us—some for the better and some as a cautionary tale. The key is to recognize that both experiences teach us important lessons. Some leaders demonstrate how to lead with strength, empathy, and vision, while others teach you how not to lead by their failures in communication, integrity, or compassion.
These experiences, both good and bad, are foundational to personal growth, leadership development, and emotional intelligence. Understanding these influences helps us build self-awareness, a critical component of successful leadership.
Every leader teaches us something. Let’s break it down with some real-life examples from healthcare and beyond.
Leaders Who Inspire Us to Be Better
Strong leaders show behaviors that push us to grow and thrive. Consider a nurse manager who leads by example—someone who jumps in during staffing shortages without hesitation, demonstrating empathy and teamwork. Their leadership helps their team feel supported, valued, and motivated.
One of my very first bosses, Jane, was the embodiment of that kind of leadership. As I was launching a new renal unit, she didn’t hesitate to step in—regardless of whether it was her specialty or not. She floated between departments effortlessly, covering shifts in the ER, surgery, labor and delivery, and med-surg. And while she couldn’t provide the specialized care our unit required, that never stopped her from supporting us in every way she could. Jane showed up—bringing coffee, calming a nervous patient, making sure we had what we needed—so we could focus on the things only we could do. It was never about her knowing exactly how to do our jobs; it was about her unwavering presence, her belief in us, and the way she made us feel seen and supported. That’s leadership.
Here’s what these leaders teach us:
Empathy is power: Truly listening to and understanding your team builds loyalty.
Consistency breeds trust: Teams feel safe and perform better under leaders who are steady and reliable.
Vision inspires action: Leaders who clearly communicate their goals bring people together with a shared sense of purpose.
Under these leaders, you learn not only how to care for others but also how to empower them.
Leaders Who Inspire Us by Contrast
Now, think of a leader whose behavior showed you everything you don’t want to be. Perhaps it was a director who led by intimidation, shutting down feedback or making impulsive decisions that created chaos for the team. While the experience may have been difficult, it was also invaluable. It taught you boundaries, self-respect, and ultimately, the kind of leader you never want to become.
While I won't share the names of those 'less than right for me' leaders, the truth is, some of my greatest growth has come from working under those who embody everything I never want to be (if you know, you know...). Disrespectful, manipulative, incapable of listening, or simply void of integrity—these weren’t just moments of poor judgment; they were patterns rooted in values I could never align with, and in one of my cases, I could see myself really liking this person as a human, just not as a leader of me, my network, or even the business with the level of integrity that I could be proud of.
In my 32-year career, across five organizations, I’ve encountered two such individuals. These weren’t just difficult bosses having a bad day—these were people whose leadership created wedges of distrust and shame through humiliation tactics, such as lying, belittling, and yelling. And yet, those experiences became my turning points. They shaped the boundaries I now hold, the standards I lead by, and the commitment I make to be different.
These leaders teach us by contrast:
The cost of poor communication: Miscommunication erodes trust and productivity.
How stress affects culture: A lack of emotional control in leadership creates a toxic work environment.
The damage of ego-driven leadership: A leader who prioritizes their own recognition over the team’s well-being will fail to inspire long-term loyalty.
In these moments, you may have walked away saying, Never again will I lead like that. And that lesson stays with you.
The Role of Self-Awareness in Leadership Development
Recognizing the lessons from past leaders requires self-awareness. Emotional intelligence is built on our ability to reflect upon this and understand how those leaders shaped our behaviors, beliefs, and leadership styles today.
When you take time to assess both the positive and negative influences from past jobs, you create space for growth. The ability to say "I learned" from that difficult boss or "I’m grateful for the great mentors I've had" is a sign of maturity. It shows you have the insight to carry forward what works and leave behind what doesn't.
Your Turn: What Job Taught You the Most?
Now, I want to hear from you. Think back on your career—whether in healthcare or another industry—and ask yourself: Which job taught you the most? Who were the leaders in that experience, and what did they teach you, both good and bad?
Did you have a leader who inspired you to lead with compassion, or maybe a difficult manager whose actions taught you resilience and patience?
Drop your stories in the comments. Let’s learn from one another’s experiences because, after all, every leader—whether they know it or not—is shaping someone’s leadership journey.
Final Thoughts
Leadership lessons are everywhere if only we’re willing to pay attention. The leaders who shape us aren’t always the ones we’d choose, but each one leaves something behind. Recognizing these lessons and reflecting on them is how we grow, develop, and evolve.
Keep learning. Keep reflecting. Keep leading.
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